Year of the Dragon

I maintain my stance that Taiwan is in some sort of time warp. 

It doesn't seem possible that we're entering the third lunar year since I arrived here, but new things still make me tilt my head to the side and think, "Huh?" almost every day. For instance, the older of two small sisters who play in the garden lobby of my building apparently calls me 英文姐姐 (Yīngwén jiejie), or "English older sister." Hmm ... OK. 

Something new every day. 

Tiger and Rabbit went swimmingly. Here's to Dragon. 
May you have a fulfilling and prosperous 2012.

P.S. My portfolio/archive is finally up-to-date, if you like newsprint. (Who says I wasn't productive during the holiday?)

there are worse things to be called

(PRNewsFoto/PepsiCo)

Skinny cans. 

300mL minis have been around for several years in Taiwan and other countries (for Coke anyway), and as someone who is apparently notorious for leaving half-finished beverages sitting around, I think they're a perfect size.

They're just enough to quench your thirst for carbonated, caffeinated, over-sugared goodness without leaving you feeling as though you have to chug the last quarter of it so you can get back on the scooter and hit the ol' bumpy trail.

They fit better in your (my?) hand, you feel a little bit sexier drinking out of them (Don't lie!), and who couldn't use a little cutback in the portions department? ( ... says the gluttonous American.)

The friendly folks at 7-11 will even give you a straw. What's not to like?

Pepsi, on the other hand, isn't pleasing everyone – namely, activists against eating disorders – with their announcement to unveil a similar design at this year's New York Fashion Week.

You'll hear no argument from me about the "skinnier, taller is better" message being plastered as far as the eye can see, but is there no better place to make that stand, no more effective way to fight that battle? Surely there are more influential ways to act on this kind of opinion.

"In celebration of beautiful, confident women," pepsico.com says, they present "the taller, sassier new Skinny Can." Sure, maybe the pitch is a little lame, but is anyone really offended by this?

Really?

how i've been feeling lately

Sometimes just thinking of everything I've been through, all the memories I have, and how far I am from where I started makes everything wonderful. There's nothing like thinking about the past – the times I never wanted to end and the times I thought things would never get better – and seeing how much things have changed. I feel like I've grown into something like a functioning human being in spite of myself. I feel like I have everyone around me to thank for where I'm at right now, and I love that feeling.

This week has been great so far – not necessarily because life is going exceptionally well, but because I feel very real and alive – one might say "infinite." Do you ever feel the difference between just being a speck in the cycle of things and truly feeling an experience? It's the difference between watching a game from the sidelines or being in an audience verses playing on the field or being up on the stage. I think that emotion – that recognition of tangible feeling – is what keeps me going. I can say without contest that things are not perfect, but maybe it's the idea that everyone endures some inevitable obstacle that is so comforting. Like a group of strangers that asks to walk through a haunted house with you or the random people you gravitate toward in line for a roller coaster, maybe it's the universal understanding that things aren't easy that allows us to really live day to day.

Maybe I'm just on another ridiculous philosophical rant, or maybe I've uncovered the secret of the universe – either way, I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter. All I know is, without aid of a single compliment or so much as the smallest kind gesture from another human being, I feel beautiful.

I wrote this more than six years ago. Some things don't change.

i can spell good

Lesson learned. Apparently January in Taiwan is a hectic time, and February is looking to shape up similarly. With a company year-end banquet (and rehearsals for it), unpaid time off, vacation, lease wrap-up, lease signing, moving, New Year, Chinese New Year, paperwork renewal, contract renewal, planning for 2011 time off ... there's barely time to remember that teaching is the part that's supposed to be work.

Until I can wrap my head around one idea for more than five seconds, I leave you spelling practice, information on time around the world, tips for Year of the Rabbit cleaning, and an opportunity to type in your own handwriting.

new year's eves

Every year about this time, I join the masses in reflecting on the year behind and anticipating the one ahead.

I mostly pore over song lyrics, trying to find the perfect one to encompass my feelings about the past 364 days. In doing so, I usually find myself overwhelmed with exactly how much happens in a year. Then I think back to January and go month by month recounting the most significant events and wracking my brain to remember the details. (In many past years, I've actually broken out the daily planner I'd use as a diary of sorts and started analyzing.) I eventually admit to myself that I'd have to post song after song to capture all the perfect sentiments.

In the past, I've orchestrated every moment of my New Year's Eve celebration. I've also worked straight though midnight with barely a "Happy New Year" to be heard. I've been kissed and left kissless. I've spent the evening in the company of family, friends, and only the TV. I've toasted with some of my best friends and some people I haven't spoken to in years. I can remember many New Year's Eves, and the only thing they have in common is that each year is different than the next. Thinking about that makes me realize that New Year's isn't the light switch of change that I've been known to make it.

The ushering in of a new year inspires hope and new beginnings, and there's nothing wrong with that. January 1st, though, isn't a magical day. In fact, it's just another day. (I think spending my first winter in weather that hardly dips below 50 degrees has helped cement that idea in my mind. The feelings that we associate with a season solely because of the season can be tricky.) What I mean isn't that NYE isn't a big deal, but rather that every day should be filled with as much hope and inspiration.

For someone who is as hung up on serendipitous numbers as I am (see the "eleven" page a right), this is important, so read it twice: There's never a "right" or "wrong" time for a new beginning. You don't have to wait for the calendar to flip to better yourself or to adopt new routines.

If there's anything I've learned this year, it's to let go. Life is fluid. Your today is someone's yesterday and a third person's tomorrow. Some of those days are good, and some are bad; some are worth noting, and some aren't. You might be in the middle of a great day while someone else is putting a bad one to bed, and you both get on with it. Each day, just like each New Year, is a chance to do something differently or do something the same way. I'm still learning this.

Every day, every moment, is a choice. It's your choice. Without sounding too spacey, time and dates and conditions are relative. Life is what you make it, what you see, what you experience. It's yours and yours alone. You may choose whom to share it with and whom you don't. And if you mess part of it up, just fix it. Do it better the next day. Nothing is irreversible, and it's never the end of the world (unless it is, but that's not your turf anyway). That being said, we also should realize that life is fleeting and that it's our responsibility to live it actively and well. There's certainly a balance to be found, but you might start by concerning yourself with doing what makes you happy and the people you care about feel appreciated. If you can make the 7-11 clerk feel good for a minute while you're at it, extra points for you.

So I wish you all a great year full of days bursting with love and laughter and feelings of contentment and satisfaction. I hope for 2011 that when that NYE kind of nostalgia comes over you, tell the people you think of that they are thought of. Use your spare seconds to let someone know they are loved, that they are important. I wish for you the ability to use your Jan. 1 hope to work diligently on challenges any day of the year. Just remember that you can always try again; you can always change something if it's not quite right.

Your days are fluid. Let go. Happy New Year.

what i know about kids

OK, the title of this post is a trick. I don't know anything about kids.

When I was deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up, I never really considered being a teacher. It just never jumped out at me. But now (as a teacher), I have to admit that my students are pretty awesome. I hope I look half this hip in real life.

me by Nina

what i know about acoustic guitars

Acoustic guitars. They still get me every time.

Since I was in high school, I've worshipped (so-to-speak) at the altar of Chris Carrabba. Like tons of other self-described "complex" and emo-ish teens already panicked about "finding" themselves during freshman year, I loved Dashboard Confessional's music from the beginning. It was one of the first times music had "clicked" and made me feel something or think something – or both. I would crank up the volume and use it to celebrate a great feeling, or turn a notch louder and scream along with it as a crutch to help me through what I was sure was an end-of-the-world problem. It could consume me and help me accomplish whatever kind of emotional release I needed at any given moment. I went so far as to research his previous bands and took quite a liking to Further Seems Forever because of the album that featured him singing. (For the record, FSF went downhill from there.) I felt this irrational connection to a complete stranger, but it gave me something to belong to. And that's all that mattered.

I saw him live several times. The first was in a pretty intimate venue compared with what he must play to now, which I've always been a little bit proud of. It was my first "cool" concert, and I was so excited that (as a too-cool-for-everything teenager) I even accepted my parents' condition for my attendance and dragged my mother across the state line and to the foot of the stage to belt out the lyrics with my friends and me. And we had a great time. I had T-shirts and stickers and even made my own memorabilia – bags, necklaces, notebooks, clothing ... Carrabba was "my" music, and I was (like faux musical elitists always are) crushed when he gave up his solo acoustic stint, took on a permanent band, and rapidly gained popularity. There's always something about a handsome man and a guitar, isn't there?

Because of this dramatic initial attachment, I've followed Dashboard Confessional since. I genuinely enjoy the music, but I think it's mostly out of nostalgia. Some might call it a "guilty pleasure." I own every album, even the ones I know are bad. I buy the ones I anticipate being bad, as well. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I've previewed an album, cringed at the cheesiness of the lyrics, and bought it anyway. I even kept listening after I saw him pack a huge stadium at a state university and creepily appeal for "co-eds" to join him for "a good time" after the show. (He had been all over MTV and heard in a Spider-Man movie by then, after all.) I haven't been to one of his concerts in years, but apparently nothing will deter my fandom.

More important than my near-obsession are the friendships that grew from it. I can think of several people whom I still consider close friends who shared in my following. I remember gushing together while I watched their band practice in whatever spare room they could find to house a drum set, or speeding down a main street bonding over off-key renditions of Carrabba's "old stuff." Then, of course, those friendships blossomed beyond Dashboard Confessional and deepened. Those people are still special to me, and I imagine they always will be. It had always been about the music, but I hadn't yet figured out that it was more about the people.

I realized this week that Dashboard Confessional is celebrating the 10-year anniversary of Carrabba's first album. Ten years! It doesn't feel like 10 years since I started listening. (Whether that's because I'm still that close to a teenage mindset or because time goes by that quickly, I'm not certain, but ... surely I'm not that old!?) As I'm writing this, I realize that I'm actually wearing one of many Dashboard Confessional T-shirts that have piled up in my closet over the years. One made it all the way to Taiwan. I guess some things just stick.

what i know about fear

• Wow, it's December. Yikes.

It's been a full year. Let me tell you how I got here.

At some point, I found myself repeatedly refusing to learn to ride a bicycle. I don't remember much about why. It probably had something to do with not wanting to fall off and skin my knees. Most of what I know comes from stories my parents have told me over the years, mostly during reverse psychology-style pep talks about not giving up. Because of my persistent protests and whining, my parents eventually let me have it my way. This must have come as the greatest news to 4- or 5-year-old me. I didn't have to try. I could quit. I never learned to ride a bike. I let fear get the best of me, and my own personal sabotage had begun.

And it haunted me into my teens. I didn't want to hang out with the other kids on my street because ... Well, that's not true. I wanted to go out with them. I was just mortified that someone would suggest a bike ride to the gas station or to another friend's house one street over. I would eventually have to tell them that I didn't know how. That I couldn't go, I couldn't do it. I even went so far as to plant the seed that bike-riding was a "stupid" way to spend one's time, or that I'd rather be doing anything else than peddling around. What a "boring" pastime to choose.

Even after I'd known them for years, I'd still craft excuse after excuse to run away from the unlikely possibility that I'd have to face my insecurity – and the even more unlikely possibility that my own friends would think less of me for it. So staying inside and potentially being talked about as though I were a phantom or a freak instead often was the better alternative. ("What do you mean you have to go back home?" "I, uhh, I forgot my homework." "But it's Saturday." "Uhh ... See ya!") My friends eventually stopped protesting, and (although I'm sure they assumed I had a strange creature or condition to tend to at unpredictable times) I could rest easy most of the time. But no matter how great they were about my abrupt departures, I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy all the time over my fear. I felt as though it could pop up at any time and consume me again. I couldn't wait to get my driver's license not because it meant I could get around by myself, but because no one would want to ride a bike anywhere if someone had a car.

Fear causes us to do irrational things.

So I finally got (permission to borrow) a car, and the cause for panic mostly went by the wayside. Although certain settings would still make me quite nervous, I was no longer stifled by my fear, and I had a lot of great times. I finished high school. I went to college. I even tried riding a bike once on campus with three of my friends holding the handlebars in lieu of training wheels. I laughed too hard to care that other students were pointing and laughing themselves, speculating that I was drunk and had lost my motor skills in the middle of a weekday. I served a few internships between several side jobs during school, I worked hard, I graduated a year early, and I got a "real" job in my chosen field. The necessity of being able to ride a bike had faded and had been quickly replaced by other challenges.

But in my first years as a "real" adult, I found myself giving in to fear again. This time, the questions weren't about whether the neighbor kids would want to ride to the neighbors' house. The questions were whether I'd made the right decisions. My job, my city, my hours, my free time, my relationships: Were they right for me? Was the person I'd become right for me? Was this how I was supposed to be doing things? Was I saving enough money? Was I working hard enough? Was I standing up for myself enough? Was I likable enough? I'd landed in the suburbs, operating on the awkward sleep-most-of-the-day-stay-up-most-of-the-night schedule of a second-shift employee. I was hours away from everything and everyone I'd known, and I spent a lot of time analyzing and dissecting whether I knew who I was or what I wanted anymore. Or whether I ever did.

Fear causes us to question ourselves.

I felt myself fading away, all my energy being sucked into wrestling with a fear that I'd be stuck in the same office in the same room at the same desk forever and have nothing significant to show for it. Plenty of decent, successful individuals stay in one place their whole lives, and I admire those people. But was it right for me? I'd look at pictures from high school and college and feel more alive than I did when I was supposed to be living this on-track "adult" life. I was so busy worrying about these things that I missed out on (or at least devalued) a lot of opportunities.

My mom and I had taken a spring break trip to Paris during my last year of college, and those memories constantly teased me with the idea that there were worlds upon worlds out there that I didn't even know existed yet. What was I doing here, in the same state I was born in and had lived all my life? I was where I had worked to get. This is where I was "supposed" to be, but somehow I didn't feel all that satisfied. I wasn't entirely unhappy, but I didn't feel very accomplished, either. I was mostly squandering time and retreating inward, afraid to be too much myself because I felt as though it were too late to change anything if it weren't good enough – if I weren't good enough.

Fear causes us to do destructive things.

I'd think about Paris, where people seemed to spend their days doing no more and no less than exactly what they wanted, truly enjoying their beautiful city in their own ways. I'd think about Phoenix, where I realized that there are communities of people who are so passionate about the philosophies behind their eating habits that they would break into full-blown debates in the wine and cheese aisle and then retire to pita bars and compare quirky art and their respective bike routes to work. Who were these kinds of people? I'd think about Illinois and all the different parts I'd seen since I was a child. I'd think about how much I loved my family and friends, and how I'd always been proud of where I came from, ... but who were these people? If I stayed here, would I ever find out? That's when the real work started.

Fear causes us to realign our priorities.

A little more than two years after my debut into "adulthood," I found myself blissfully ignoring Valentine's Day. I mention this only because it would have been quite uncharacteristic of my previous self. I was on a one-way flight to Taiwan. I was sitting next to the man who has become my co-pilot, and I was thrilled that the international dateline allowed me to skip Feb. 14 and get a fresh start. I had always held an inkling of what I wanted deep inside, but most of the time, I had been too afraid to fully realize it. But there I was: Tens of thousands of feet in the air, tracking our tiny plane while it crossed the Pacific, discovering new levels on which to be terrified, elated and relieved all at once, I was realizing it. There had been a lot of setbacks, too, which nearly persuaded me to forget the whole thing. For nearly twenty-four long months, we battled delays and wrong turns and tragedy and red tape and miscommunication to get on this flight. It was more trouble than I care to recount. But I made it. We made it.

Fear causes us to fight back and find our strength.

So now, I find myself here, in my apartment on a beautiful, only slightly chilly December evening in a city of 1 million people on the subtropical island of Taiwan. I've been here for almost 10 months. It has not always been easy. As culture shock goes, there are good days and bad days. But it has been rewarding. I spend every day learning, experiencing, loving and being loved. There are times when I feel afraid, but I no longer harbor the kind of fear I battled with for so long. I've left behind that nervous, stifling, confidence-crushing fear of life. I've made it all the way here, in perfect time to start answering all of my own questions. Taiwan has offered me a fresh start. I'm learning to accept that – to embrace my life – and now I'm ready to share that again if you'll have me.

What's the first thing you should know? Now, I drive a scooter.

Fear causes us to set ourselves free.

12.01.09

• Wow, it's December. Yikes.

• I saw the above photo in a MySpace ad. It made me laugh. If you are at all familiar with the state of the newspaper biz these days, you might, too. (Yes, I know copy editors don't just work for newspapers.)

• I'm up to my ears in paperwork (and that's a lot, even for someone my height). I'm learning a lot. But right now, I'm more concerned with getting everything done correctly than turning those lessons around into something that resembles something insightful. This blog might have to take a wee hiatus... (To return bigger, better, and totally different than anything I've experienced thus far. Stay tuned!)

11.24.09

• Apologies for the hiatus. (Doesn't everyone take two to three weeks to celebrate their birthdays?)

• What is Mrs. Claus's first name? More importantly, when did Christmas start coming before Thanksgiving. Come on.

• Grits are ground hominy.

• Toni Basil ("Oh, Mickey, you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind ...") choreographed the "Legally Blonde" movies.

• I dig fonts, but I've never found myself anywhere near disgruntled over typography. You?

• Never underestimate the possibility for life to get more and more bizarre.

• There's an Eggo shortage. Seriously. And you thought layoffs and pay cuts were bad ...

• Oprah is putting an end to her talk show at the end of its 25th season (in 2011). She'll also take it out of syndication. I've always been of the opinion that she has a freakish amount of power above the level that any one person should ever have ... so I can't say I'm complaining. Although, I guess now would as good a time as any to ask for a handout.

• Let's talk about chivalry, shall we? Seems that there's a healthy discussion to be had here. Where's the line between polite and condescending? Anything creep you out? Is it sexist?

• This video of a soldier's dog welcoming him home is almost guaranteed to make you cry.

• Funny what it takes to make an endeavor feel "real." Funnier still are the mixed emotions that follow. Excitement. Nervousness. Satisfaction at hard work finally paying off. Sheer terror. Hold on tight; things are about to get very interesting ...

11.03.09

• Key West is apparently a crazy place to be, with the Chucky-esque doll and such.

• Happy November! Have a look at some dedicated pumpkin carvers if you're feeling reminiscent.

• To play music on the streets of Chicago, you must have a permit that costs $100.

• Chicago Tribune gears up for AP-less week. Think it'll work?

• Almost anything can be a good time with the right company. Try it. I dare you.

• NT$1 = USD$0.03

• Hedgehogs have an impeccable sense of smell and are illegal in some areas.

• Actually overheard at Iowa 80: The World's Largest Truckstop:
"Eh, there's no reason to sleep. Just keep on truckin'."

Places to go, people to meet, generally pleasantly overwhelmed with life. Happy Tuesday.

10.27.09

• Know your Mustangs? (Disregard the hidden bro shots. Arg.)

• Isn't it great when you hit a wall of clarity at full speed, and all of a sudden, everything makes perfect sense? Ahh ...

• Jillian Michaels is absolutely terrifying.

• I've been glued to the Logo Network about as often as the Travel Channel, Food Network and TLC. (They featured Elvira Kurt in a documentary; what's not to love?)

• "...when it comes to the important stuff, secrets damage relationships." That's a Ph.D. talking. Read the whole article once you've retrieved your jaw from the floor.

• I have a new found excitement for apple doughnuts. Mmm ...

• I also love cameos. And I'm not the only one.

• I know I've been raving about Wayne Coyne more often lately than... well, more often than I rave about anyone. But the more I read about him, the more fascinating he becomes. A couple of great quotes from an interview in next month's SPIN magazine:

"The idea that you just make the music and some guys set up all your stuff -- that works great for Thom Yorke," Coyne says. "But for me, everything we do up there is about us. From the dumb carpet we stand on to the video. I'd just be too frazzled if I wasn't up there making sure all these little things go right." ...

But as Coyne puts it, "I've always viewed this as part of the show. You're gonna see us set up our stuff, see exactly how this works. You are gonna know that this is not magic. And yet, when the music stars, it's still gonna destroy you." ...

"Life has a lot of nuances, " [Coyne said.] "I felt like if I was messed up on drugs, I was missing those nuances. Plus, you see the way I am: I like to be in control."

Read (most of) the article here. And if you need further proof of why Coyne is more worthy (and appreciative) of your admiration than the average whiny rockstar, check out the interview in the same issue with The Strokes' Julian Casablancas for contrast. Eek.

Happy Tuesday.

10.20.09

• "... In states with higher numbers of college-educated adults, couples tended to wed at older ages, while the opposite was true in states with lower education levels. ..."

Do you even need to read more?

• Why real men buy women flowers: "... My dad knew that buying a gift for that person who'll laugh at your terrible jokes, kiss you with lips and breath, and hold your hand as a [hospital] needle searches for your vein is just a way of saying, 'I'm thinking about you when you're not here.'

And that's what flowers are, just a simple, easy way of letting someone know they were in your thoughts. That's it. It's not complicated. Flowers announce: out of sight, still in my mind and heart. It is unerringly human to want to know that someone is thinking about you when you are not around. ..."

This is a cute story with a solid point. And who doesn't need a cute story now and then?

• The Cleveland Plain Dealer's Regina Brett's "45 life lessons and 5 to grow on" -- some of these ring more true than others. And some of them make me worry that Regina Brett sneaks into my apartment and watches me. I won't tell you which are which.

• To each his (or her) own, as Mom always said. Let people be who they are. It's not your place to tell anyone they're right or wrong just because they might or might not agree with you. (I think I might have mentioned that before ...)

• There are more people in your shoes than you might realize. Well, not your exact shoes. Maybe they're a different color or size or something. But they're still the same sassy, pointy-toed kitten heels that can be dressed up or dressed down and make you feel like a million bucks. ... The point is, it's probably smart to try and stay on the same side. You never know how you could help each other out.

• I try not to contribute to passing along viral Internet videos, chain letters, obnoxious forwards, bad advice, ... but something about giving cats subtitles is just too good. (But I'm also the idiot spending hours laughing at Lolcats.)

• Now go on. Some of us have work to do. Happy Tuesday.

10.13.09

• Researchers are developing a new screening system for airports ...

The Homeland Security-funded project is Future Attribute Screening Technology, or FAST. Instead of focusing on whether you have hidden explosives or whether you're carrying a weapon, sensors and cameras located at security checkpoints would measure the natural signals coming from your body -- your heart rate, breathing, eye movement, body temperature and fidgeting. (Read the full story at cnn.com.)

Interesting stuff. But, really? Who ISN'T stressed getting onto a plane?

• Evidently, Mrs. Butterworth's first name is Joy.

• Admittedly, I stole the following from Facebook, and this list was compiled by someone who isn't me. But at 23, I've checked off half of these things with a couple left unchecked that I'm about half sure on. Count me extraordinarily lucky.

"Bucket List"
(Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not.)

Things you have done during your lifetime:
1. () Gone on a blind date
2. () Donated blood
3. (x) Skipped school
4. () Watched someone die
5. () Been to Canada
6. (x) Been to Mexico
7. (x) Been to Florida
8. () Been to Hawaii
9. (x) Been on a plane
10. (x) Been on a helicopter
11. (x) Been lost
12. (x) Gone to Washington, D.C.
13. () Hugged a homeless person
14. (x) Swam in the ocean ("swam" is a relative term)
15. () Swam with stingrays
16. () Been sailing in the ocean
17. (x) Cried yourself to sleep
18. (x) Played cops and robbers
19. (x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pens
20. () Ran a marathon
21. (x) Sang karaoke
22. () Volunteered at a soup kitchen
23. (x) Paid for a meal with coins only
24. (x) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
25. () Seen the Northern Lights
26. () Been parasailing
27. () Been on TV
28. (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
29. (x) Made prank phone calls
30. () Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
31. (x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
32. () Fed an elephant
33. (x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
34. (x) Fired a gun
35. (x) Danced in the rain
36. () Been to the opera
37. (x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
38. (x) Serenaded someone
39. (x) Seen a U.S. president in person. (I guess he wasn't technically president at the time.)
40. (x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
41. (x) Watched the sunrise with someone
42. () Driven a race car
43. (x) Been to a national museum
44. (x) Been to a wax museum
45. (x) Eaten caviar
46. (x) Blown bubbles
47. (x) Gone ice skating
48. (x) Gone to the movies
49. () Been deep sea fishing
50. (x) Driven across the U.S.
51. () Been in a hot air balloon
52. () Been sky diving
53. () Gone snowmobiling
54. () Lived in more than one country
55. (x) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
56. (x) Seen a falling star and made a wish
57. () Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
58. (x) Seen the Grand Canyon
59. () Seen the Statue of Liberty
60. () Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
61. () Been on a cruise
62. (x) Traveled by train
63. (x) Traveled by motorcycle
64. (x) Been horse back riding
65. () Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
66. (x) Been to Disneyland or Disney World
67. (x) Have at any time truly believed in the power of prayer
68. () Been in a rain forest
69. (x) Seen whales in the ocean
70. () Been to Niagara Falls
71. () Been to an active volcano
72. (x) Ridden on an elephant
73. () Swam with dolphins
74. () Been to the Olympics
75. () Walked on the Great Wall of China
76. () Been inside a pyramid/Buddha
77. () Saw and heard a glacier calf
78. () Been spinnaker flying
79. () Been water-skiing
80. () Been snow-skiing
81. () Been to Westminster Abbey
82. (x) Been to the Louvre
83. () Been to Israel
84. () Swam in the Mediterranean
85. (x) Been to a Major League Baseball game
86. () Been to a National Football League game
87. () Swam with sharks
88. (x) Been white water rafting
89. () Written a book or screenplay

That's 45/89. Let's see if I can't knock out a few more by the quarter-century mark ...

• I only want to be taller when I take out the trash. I'd like to be able to carry the bag(s) with my arm(s) straight without it dragging on the concrete. Never mind tall cabinets or shelves; I've never had any troubles getting to those. Just ask my parents. But for those three or so minutes to the Dumpster (proper noun), I could use a few more inches.

• I'm fascinated with the subcultures of our society. This must have started a couple of summers ago when I realized that there are groups of people who might judge you based on which grocery store you frequent and make entire meals based on hummus. Much love to those people, but it took me by surprise.

Along the lines of subcultures I never knew existed are communities that strive to be completely self-sustaining. People who live without the things that most of us take for granted in an effort to support themselves should said things disappear or become unavailable. I still don't know too much about it. Here are some links that explain it better. Even if it's not necessarily something you agree with or are interested in doing, it's so fun to see what people are into.

Possibility Alliance in La Plata, Mo., is once such community. Ethan Hughes, who is associated with the Possibility Alliance, was part of the Haul of Justice in 2000, during which "regular folks dress up as superheroes and hit the roads on their bicycles for a monthlong journey, providing service to the public with no agenda, and no pre-established course or plans." If that sounds interesting, check out another interview with Hughes where he talks about some kids who took his bike and other craziness that ensues on a trip such as this. Similar communities include Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage and Sandhill Farm, an egalitarian intentional community. Interesting stuff, no?

• It's a great feeling to realize that the friends you chose in your childhood and teen years turned out to be equally awesome and interesting adults. Especially if it's been awhile since you've had a chance to catch up.

• Baby shampoo works as well as any eye make-up remover I've found.

• Friends, we've officially passed breezy, jacket weather and rushed right into space heater and fingerless-gloves season. Yay for scarves, nay for the cold.

• Confidence gets you lots of places. Literally. The key, a wise friend says, is looking/acting like you belong; people usually won't ask questions.

• As far as hair dye goes, it's divided into darkness/lightness levels numbered 1-10 with 1 being black and 10 being ultralight blond(e).

• When you have adequate time to process (Ha! Get it? Process? Dye? ... Never mind.), read this commencement speech by David Foster Wallace. Read it twice if you have to. It's good stuff. So much of life is what you choose to see and how you choose to see it.

Happy Tuesday.

10.6.09

• Check out the emotion in these shots from cnn.com and chicagotribune.com during the 2016 Olympics announcements. Talk about capturing a moment in time ...

• I don't remember which pill Neo takes in "The Matrix," but I'm pretty sure that point-of-no-return stuff is based on real life. Once you realize certain things, there's no going back.

• Also based on real life was that Bill Cosby show "Kids Say the Darndest Things." This conversation happened recently:
Fifth-grader: Are you still in high school?
Me: No, I'm a college graduate.
Fifth-grader: Because you look like you're still in high school.

• Some people really freak out if you make eye contact. (Strangers, I mean. Not normally people you already know.) Smile, and they just about run away. I think I'm a little too entertained by this. ... But I'm also the idiot behind you in line waving and making stupid faces at your infant.

• If Oprah can feature a woman who tries to go on 100 coffee dates to find "The One," I'm pretty sure I could pull off just about anything.

• The best friends aren't afraid to call you out when you need it. I've heard it twice in one week from two different parties in two different situations. Must be true.

• I wonder how long/many times I would have to sit casually, looking not-too-busy at an establishment before someone – anyone (who isn't working at said establishment) – approaches me for any reason at all. I had a pretty good time watching people watch me and whisper not-so-discreetly about why I was eating alone on my dinner break. It could be fun. Wagers?

• People have such interesting things to say. I learn so much just from listening (or reading, as the case may be). What excites them, what they value, where they've been, what they've seen, what they think. Don't underestimate what other people can teach you about the world and about yourself.

• "Life's a journey, not a destination." – Aerosmith, American rock band.

"Happiness is not a goal, it is a byproduct." – Eleanor Roosevelt, civil rights advocate and former first lady.

"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." – Wayne Dyer, American author.

"Happiness is not down the road; happiness is the road." – spiritual leader Dalai Lama?

... Seeing any trends here? As someone who grew up thinking that you choose one path and stick to it in order to be "successful," I'm starting to realize that maybe that's the wrong way to go about things. There's no one way to live happily, and there's no rule that says you can't change your mind along the way.

It's never been my idea of exciting to settle – or "settle-in." That's partly because the thought of going from day to day in the same, stale routine year after year without learning new things and having no way out terrifies me into action. ("Security is a kind of death." – Tennessee Williams, American playwright.) Maybe the way to go is to do what makes you happy until it doesn't anymore – or at least until you have a greater interest in something else – then find the next thing that does.

I think people end up in a rut when they can't admit when something that once made them happy no longer does. There's a stigma that goes along with it, that somehow admitting it means you screwed up the first time. But I don't think that's the case at all. People are constantly changing, no matter how old they are – if they allow it to happen. They take on new interests, new thought processes. It takes a brave and honest person to realize, admit and act on a new endeavor.

"When you get out of here, the world is going to grab you by the hair and start running. And you'd better keep up." – Dr. Peter Voelz, retired journalism professor, Eastern Illinois University.

But there's also a difference between giving up and moving on as described above. The preceding paragraph doesn't apply to situations in which you just give in, give up, or stop trying. I'm working on things as we speak that have become very hard, much harder than I thought they would be when I started working on them. It's easy to rationalize yourself into thinking you don't want something because not having it, not working toward it, not following through would be easier. And it is easier – for now. But if you give in to that weakness, you'll eventually realize that you never wanted that thing any less. You just gave up before you could see all the good there was to be had. Figuring out the difference is a skill in itself.

"Opportunities of a lifetime never come without some sort of price." – Marc Malone, grad student, fantastic writer, friend.

"Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy." – Dr. Kelso, "Scrubs"

I expect this whole mind-set to continue to shift as I get older, but I think I've come a long way from worrying that choosing the wrong major would be the end of my one chance to do things "right."

"...and if you don't like it, change it." – Jared McClellan, was wise beyond his years at 17.

• Call me crazy, but whomever David Letterman chooses to sleep with does not affect me personally. Because it doesn't affect me, I don't feel the need to chastise him, call for an end to his career, ask any further questions, or really have any opinion at all on his recent announcement. (In fact, I think the real issue here is the alleged blackmail by a network higher-up anyway, but that's apparently not as interesting to the masses.) The point being, until there's a crazy twist that gets me wrapped into it, his sex life is his business and only his. (Hmm ... OK, kiddies, how else might we be able to apply this principle?)

• Noodles & Co. has a "no tip" policy. (Which means you don't leave one, even when dining in.)

• No matter what you're thinking, feeling, dealing with at any given time, someone has thought, felt or dealt with the exact same thing. When that "thing" is good, this thought might seem to cheapen the uniqueness of your experience. When that "thing" is bad, this thought will be a comfort. (Funny how that works, isn't it?)

• Kandi Burruss, a cast member on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," wrote TLC's "No Scrubs" and was a member of Xscape.

• A good friend once said that sometimes you have to lie a little to get yourself through tough times. By the time you start believing what you've been telling yourself, it's not so tough. (You might have heard this expressed as, "Fake it until you make it," but I prefer that my clichés not rhyme.)

• France may put warning labels on airbrushed photos. Also, check out these 10 doctored shots.

• I think it's safe to assume that most people haven't figured things out as well as you might imagine.

Happy Tuesday.

9.29.09

• Wearing a suit feels awesome. Wearing a wash-and-wear "travel" suit: even better.

• Have you ever experienced something that you know, right then, will stick with you and become one of those golden "remember when," turning-point sort of memories? I had that feeling this week. I've never been so inspired by a wave.

• I would list all the great things that have come to mind recently about having your own place, but I think that might be letting you in a little too much. Just know that there are a lot ... even in the 'burbs.

• You never know what will help you find a new appreciation for something else. Be open-minded to that.

• It's illegal to place a student who is not fluent in English in a class for students with speech problems. It's not the same.

• You can never have too many friends. (That one's from Mommy.)

• I'm growing back into embracing the sitcominess of life. It never fails to happen. I often think you couldn't get a bigger laugh if someone wrote this stuff. (The movie of my life that plays continuously in my head is tragically funny more often than not, but I don't think it would fail to entertain.)

• USA Today reports that teens who don't have their "own" car are half as likely to get into a crash. (The gist of this article? If you're going to have kids, BE a parent.)

• "Pain beats regret every day of the week and twice on Sundays." Oh, Matthew McConaughey, I love you in spite of your cheesiness and laughably bad movies.

• I can't decide what I think of Rock Plaza Central (other than that it translates better live than on MySpace and that a couple of the members remind me of newspaper press room guys I've worked with). I think his voice might be too ... something ... (distracting?) to totally enjoy the great harmonies. Thoughts?

• People who try things – who choose to express themselves – even though they might not be ... good? ... at what they're doing make me smile. You know that the effort is genuine that way.

• I'll never have to hide again. I'll never have to deal with [insert annoyance here] again. I'll never have to _____ again. Fill in the blank for yourself. It'll feel good. Slap it on a Post-It if you have to. Everyone loves the well-executed use of office supplies. (At least I do ...)

• People are constantly evolving as they have new experiences, but it takes something clicking in a person's head and an honest realization on his/her part to really change. (And there's nothing wrong with changing – especially if it leads to better things.)

• Everything is so much more enjoyable and interesting once you stop being afraid of not having all the answers. Having the courage to ask questions – yep, even stupid ones – and to learn from the people around you makes life seem less mundane and predictable. But you can't be too cool for it, or it will never work right. You won't get anything out if it if you're wrapped up in your own image. You'll miss the lesson. Learn to be okay with looking ridiculous sometimes and deal with the rough spots with humor and grace. (I have a friend who swears by the humor and grace stuff. Works beautifully for her.)

• The most unpredictable things can make (or ruin) your day if you let them. Really, "iff" you let them. ("If and only if." My high school geometry teacher would be proud ...)

• Cats are smarter (better at getting attention, anyway) than most people give them credit for. Although, I don't know whether plopping down on top of a computer mouse counts as catching it.

(Note: If you're reading this as a Facebook note, check out the original "what I know now" blog post. There is a method to the rambling. Promise.)

9.22.09

• CNN's done it again. (Is "Talk Like A Pirate Day" really news anywhere but Facebook? ... Really?)

• Isn't it strange that people who are into watching are critiquing movies are viewed as classy and justified (because they study fiiiilm), but those who are interested in a well-written, thought-provoking TV series are viewed as nothing more than couch potatoes? As someone who is happy to invest hours upon hours in DVD box sets, I'll make the argument that it's not only strange, but downright ridiculous.

• There's nothing quite like the feeling of going out to eat and getting so caught up in the conversation that you have to take the meal home.

• Do whatever works for you, even if other people don't agree. Sometimes it's all right to be selfish.

• Christian Louboutin made the shoes for Janet Jackson & Co.'s Michael Jackson tribute performance of "Scream" at this year's MTV Video Music Awards.

• Sometimes advice rings truer when it comes from beautiful people. Really. Why? Because we take comfort in knowing that people we admire – or who are outwardly composed – experience the same hardships and shortcomings as us regular ol' folks.

• I realized that, for the first time in a very long time, (1) I enjoy reading and (2) I feel as though there aren't enough hours in the day. Yesss ...

9.15.09

I think this project would be more doable in weekly installments. I pick Tuesdays.

• Sometimes you must be brave enough to allow yourself to be completely vulnerable.

• Never underestimate the influence and comfort of friendship.

• I will never stop believing that good things – important things – are worth working hard for.

• Sometimes taking any action is better than analyzing to find the perfect one. Sometimes it's exactly the opposite.

• Two recent techie conventions showed that Macs are actually easier to hack than machines that run on Windows.

• No one is above a lapse in judgment. Even, say, elected officials.

• Dealing with pain often is a matter of mourning the loss of what might have been.

• I was a sophomore in Mrs. Harlow's second-hour psychology class at Jacksonville High School on Sept. 11, 2001. We were studying Pavlov. I started taking notes in my planner when the announcements started coming sporadically over the loudspeaker from the front office. I didn't know why I felt the need to do that. We eventually turned the TV on and gave up on the lesson. It seemed to take everyone awhile to realize that things weren't okay, and when they did, no one wanted to be the first to say it.

We must have continued with the day for a couple more periods or so, but the next thing I remember is sitting at a round cafeteria table in the dark about lunch time. In our naivety, we wondered if the power outage was a result of some kind of attack on our school. In reality, the transformer had blown because there were so many TVs and radios plugged in throughout the building. At a loss of what else to do, the principal came in and announced that we were all free to go home. I got in my best friend Kristy's gold Dodge Intrepid with my boyfriend, Ian, and spent most of the evening curled up on the floor – mostly silent, often crying – watching TV in my family's basement.

For a long time, it was like a game to see how often "Sept. 11" would come up on a daily basis. Then it started to annoy me. I'd wonder, "Why can't we move on? Why can't we let this go? Does everything really have to tie back to it?" I've seen grown adult approach airport personnel, point her finger at another person, and tell a staff member that she didn't want to be on the plane with one of "them." I still wonder where all the hate came from.

Unlike a lot of people, I don't say very much about the people personally involved, nor do I ever speak politically about it. I respect the heroes, and I feel sad for the people who lost loved ones. But part of me has always felt like no amount of an outsider's emotion could be worthy of what happened to those people – it wouldn't be enough. And using such a tragedy as a kind of political hot button or to push an agenda has always seemed disrespectful. I'm fortunate that can't relate to what they've been though, and I can't pretend to understand how they feel. I certainly don't know how to ease that kind of pain, and I'd imagine that if I were in their shoes, I wouldn't want people to try. So I let it be.

I do know that felt very strange that first day; I remember thinking that I was old enough that I should have been able to wrap my head around the importance of what had happened, but I still felt like it was something that I couldn't quite grasp. Thinking back, maybe that feeling was some kind of realization that the world had changed right before our eyes.

• It's illegal to ride a motorcycle without protective eyewear. (Oops ... Does closing your eyes, burying your face, and holding on for dear life count?)

9.5.09

• I try to be open-minded and flexible, but there's a list of things I know for sure that I don't want for myself. Growing jaded and bitter is on that list.

• Soldiers started mixing jelly with peanut butter during World War II to make it easier to eat.

• Powdered rubber (think car tires) helps make gum chewy. Thinking twice about swallowing it now, huh?

• Does anyone else get the feeling that you absorb less when you're reading something on a screen vs. reading it from a book? I bet that's what makes online classes so hard.

• Word I'd never seen until today: denuclearization.

8.31.09

• PBS aired its final episode of "Reading Rainbow" on Friday. (The show still will be available for teaching purposes for a year. Grab them while you can...)

• Apparently people have "swine flu parties" where they purposely expose themselves to people who have the virus in hopes of building up a natural immunity. Needless to say, the Centers for Disease Control does not recommend these interactions.

• Summer left abruptly last week, and fall is setting in. It's August. Some days are closer to Wisconsin than others.

• Things are seldom as easy as you imagine.
"Opportunities of a lifetime never come without paying some sort of price." (Marc Malone)
OR...
"Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy." (Bob Kelso, "Scrubs")
OR...
"When you get out of here, the world is going to grab you by the hair and start running. And you'd better keep up." (Dr. Peter Voelz)
OR...
"Security is a kind of death." (Tennessee Williams)


• Taking a few days off to spend time with family. Make time to spend with your family.